Stephen and I always thought that people with children were a little...odd. Their lives seemed to be about their kids and nothing else. And while I can't say that we completely understand the way some couples with children behave, we do have a bit more of an understanding.
One of our biggest fears was turning into that couple that thinks they are more important than everyone else because they have a baby. We are not more important just because we managed to reproduce- plenty of people do it. There have been moments since Esme was born where just for a second I thought I should get special treatment because I had an infant but somehow I managed to keep my pre-baby head screwed on tightly. I still believe that most parents out there think they have the right to do whatever they want- hog the sidewalk or grocery aisle, expect preferential treatment in lines, etc. People without children have things to do and places to be too!
We also wanted to try and make sure that our life kept some form of pre-baby "normalcy." We want to keep traveling and doing things spur of the moment. That is who we are. We do realize that things will have to be a bit more planned out, but we still plan on seeing everything there is to see. The main difference is that we will have a baby strapped to our back (or front)!
Ok...on to the important things!
My Mom was a godsend for the first few weeks of Esme's life. She was a cooking, cleaning, cat feeding, baby snuggling machine! She completely spoiled us and we will be forever grateful. I have always felt that my Mama lived and breathed to be a mom. She poured every ounce of love she had into me and I always knew (and still know) that I was her life's greatest love. It is amazing to see that same love she has given me all of my life passed on to Esme. I don't think there is a baby in this world that is loved by her grandma the way my mom loves Ez.
We are very lucky that my Mom has agreed to come back to NJ for a while to watch Ezzy while I am at school. So Mama, if you're reading this, please know that I mean every word of what is written above. We love you so much and cannot possibly tell you how much all of your help and support means to us. You are the best!
BREASTFEEDING. Anyone who knows me knows that I had absolutely no intention to breastfeed. I thought it was a wonderfully beneficial thing for those people willing to do it, but not for me. SURPRISE, SURPRISE, look who's breastfeeding!! I did a lot of research about the benefits of breastfeeding prior to Esme's birth but was still not convinced that it was something I was prepared to do. I have always found it a little creepy and had issues with people breastfeeding in public and I still feel that way. I don't like seeing women whip their breasts out at the dinner table or train- I believe it is a private, personal matter between a mother and child that doesn't need to be shared with strangers.
I do not nurse in public (in fact, I nurse only a few times a day) and get the majority of my breastmilk from pumping. I am really glad that I have been able to find a way to breastfeed that I am comfortable with. Pumping allows me to extract milk in the privacy of my own home and still be able to go out and about with the baby. A mother's milk is so much more nutritious for the baby and the human body amazes me with its ability to change the milk based on a baby's specific needs. I am so glad I made this decision and can always say that I made the healthiest choice for Esme!
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